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Posts Tagged ‘normal’

After fighting a deep depression for 1½ months, I finally came out and settled in at “normal”.   After a few days I should have been very pleased but I was frustrated. I felt bored. Totally and hopelessly bored and I didn’t know why or what to do with myself.

I had an appointment with my therapist. We talked about my sleep problems, I’d been getting only a couple of hours per night for a few weeks and by afternoon I would feel starved for sleep. We determined it was either my new meds causing it or a rebound effect from coming off the old meds if they helped me sleep.   It could also be a combination of both.

Finally, I told her how bored I felt. She asked me what I have been doing and I told her it was just the same routine stuff—nothing had changed. She said, “Oh, but it has.   How are you feeling?” “Normal.”, I said. And then she blew me away. She said that “normal” has left me with nothing to work hard at. When I’ve been at anything but normal, which is usually most of the time, I’ve had to work hard to continue to live a normal productive life.   It can be incredibly hard work but now I had nothing to work hard at, just routine chores or errands. She was right! It made perfect sense.

I’ve achieved 12 days of “normal”! And I feel free and content. Boredom fled when I realized the reason for it. This is bliss and I have to believe it will stay this way. I know in reality the odds are stacked that I’ll slide up or down again. But negative thinking brings me down. The work now is to stay positive, believe for the best outcome and live in the moment. That’s not very hard work at all.

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