I’m alone again. My husband is out playing pickleball and will come home at lunchtime.
I find myself alone often. I don’t mind it usually. It’s time I get to do whatever I want or need to get accomplished without interruption. When I do mind is when I am depressed. I need to stay focused and not allow my mind to wander off into negativity. Negative thoughts feed negative moods and negative moods breed more negative thoughts. It’s a cycle that must be broken and managed or it could possibly lead to a crisis. That’s not a place I want to visit again so I am vigilant in controlling my thought life.
I find nurturing my spiritual life very helpful: reading my Bible, reading Christian books, listening to podcasts, praying and attending church. God’s principles for my thought life and everyday living bring me stability.
I’m working on eating healthfully and trying to lose weight. I know this, in the long run, will help me feel better physically and can also have a positive effect on my mood. Exercise is something I want to do but find difficult to motivate myself due to pain in my hips and hands. Fibromyalgia and arthritis are the culprits. I tried playing pickleball—I gave it a really good effort for a couple of months—but I was in terrible pain when I got home. Getting up from a seated position was painful and difficult and walking was painful. My right hand was in more pain than usual from holding the racquet. I’d love to share that sport with my husband and the other players who are very nice people but I also want to be able to walk without feeling like I’m crippled. I also don’t want to be waking up several times during the night due to pain. Lack of sleep and Bipolar do not make a good mix. It could trigger a mood swing.
I’m trying to work up the motivation to start walking outdoors again. This is a good time to start as the weather is starting to cool down. I’d like to work up to 30 or 40 minutes 5 times a week. Exercise is an important part of keeping a stable mood. It helps the body produce endorphins and other neurotransmitters that have a positive effect on stability. Plus getting out and moving has a positive effect physically and improves endurance.
I don’t know how much any of this will work towards turning my condition around so I can live pain free again, but it will help towards preventing it from progressing. I want to live my best life and I know I have to work for it.
Finding Joy Again 