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Posts Tagged ‘gratefulness’

What I am about to share is my perspective on life and how it helps me.  I’ve not shared this with you before but it’s had a big impact on me lately and I though I should share what is the core of what helps me with my bipolar life.

I’ve been reading a book with a friend called “Crazy Love” by Frances Chan. It’s about God’s great love for us. The book starts out showing us how infinitesimally small we are compared to the vast universe, that God created the universe and how small it is compared to Him. So now try to imagine how small we are compared to God yet he cares about us. He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for our sins so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life with him after we die on this Earth. All He wants is my love and obedience, that I should worship Him instead of my stuff and accomplishments. My power to achieve is feeble compared to God’s. And it is He who gave me the abilities I have to accomplish anything. So who do I think I am when I get all proud and puffed up about my achievements and leave God out of the equation. In fact sometimes I forget about Him altogether.  I walk around planning where I am going to, how I will make a living, how  I will go about my business as though I am going to live forever with no thought about the possibility I could die tomorrow or even today. The Bible describes our life as a vapor, here now and gone in an instant.

A question posed in the book Is why do we get stressed and anxious. If we truly trust God is all-knowing and all-powerful then why do we get stressed and anxious. The answer is simple–I’m  still trying to control my life in my own power which is sorely lacking.  I need to get off of the throne of my heart and let God take His rightful place there. He will give me the order I need in my life. He will display His power in me and through my life.  The Bible tells us to be anxious for nothing. I have nothing to fear.

The major part of my anxiety is induced by my illness, bipolar disorder. It’s sort of a chemical short-circuit in my brain affecting my moods causing them to be extremely high or extremely low with anxiety thrown in as well. My doctor was able to help control the mood swings and anxiety with meds. Any anxiety I experience beyond that is my own making and I have to give it to God and trust Him to help me in every situation.  And He does.
Only His strength is sufficient for me, my own strength is feeble. I’m glad to have God as my rock and He has blessed me with so much. I have a faithful, loving and supportive husband, three wonderful sons, two wonderful daughters-in-law and two precious grandsons. I have a church family who loves me just the way I am. I know that I am truly blessed in a myriad of ways.
It’s been a long day. We left home at 10:00 am to go to church. After church we did some food shopping. We didn’t get home until almost 4:00 pm. The depression seems to be lifting. It’s been a good and productive day.

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One of the first coping skills I learned about after my bipolar diagnosis was that meditation is important to our well-being. It’s a time to quiet down our racing thoughts, emotions and negative thinking. It relaxes the mind and body. I’ve heard some people say they feel rejuvenated after spending awhile meditating.

Some people like to sit and use a particular scent that is pleasing and focus quietly on that. Others like to hold and feel a textured item that is pleasing to focus on. Some focus on something in their minds. Some people like to use prayer as meditation. While focusing on whatever one chooses, it is important to breathe deeply.

Although I pray often, that is not usually my form of meditation. Mine is to go to a special place in my mind. I wrote about it and I want to share it with you. See if you can picture yourself there.

River Peace

Stresses peel away while I listen
Dark, murky water
Lazily follows a ribbon pathway
Gurgling, lapping at the shoreline.
Trees shield the forest floor from afternoon sun
Grateful, I find rest in the cool shade.
Rustling leaves, quiet songs of nature,
Soothing, comforting,
Reassuring that all is right in my world
God is in control.

I sit here for the solitude
Yet life teems all around.
Spiders spin, ants gather food,
Birds chirrup in the green ceiling above me.
Dragonflies flit to and fro above the cool water
Prism wings of purple, green, red-violet.
I belong here, joining God’s creation
Celebrating life’s pure joy in being, simplicity.
I wait to hear His voice.

© Jeanette Chiapperino 9/21/2000

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